Well as you may know, I have been into the "Latin Scene", due to my
newfound passion for Latin dancing... I've been approached by guys of
different ethnicities to dance, mainly Latin guys, and because I'm not
rude I usually oblige ;-). I've been "collecting" numbers here and
there but 1 one really caught my attention.
One nite, I came out
to dance as usual. There's one guy (James, who happens to be Chocolate)
in particular that I really enjoy dancing with such that we text each
other often, to meet up to dance. I show up to the club before him and a
guy of Hispanic descent came over and asked you to dance. I usually
don't refuse dances, (the more the merrier), however I wasn't so eager
to that night...He had to pull me out... Once I started dancing with him
I noticed that he was really good and he was very cute. So afterwards
we sit at the bar he offers to buy me a drink. Now usually I love
partaking in Adult Beverages, but for some reason when I go out Latin
dancing I'm more into drinking water than drinking alcohol. He bought me
a water, I'm sipping and then suddenly to my left appears my usual
Chocolate dance partner. I felt very awkward because I had to socialize
with the both of them and dance with the both of them. I kinda felt like
they were in silent competition because they never spoke to one
another. So when the Chocolate guy was dancing with someone else, the
Hispanic guy gave me his name and number. I planned to dance with "Jay"
again soon. I danced with the Chocolate guy a couple more times ,we
chatted a bit and then parted ways.
Over the next few days I
discovered he didn't speak English too well. He would text me short
phrases, however it was very apparent when he called me. Yes it's
possible for me to dance a few times with a guy and he not speak much
but I just thought he was the shy type. was asking me to come out to
dance and I obliged. We went to a new spot. It was authentic as hell,
meaning that there were a lot of Latino people there. I couldn't really
get into the music at first; the DJ's spins seemed to be sporadic and
influenced by Crack . While we were sitting and having drinks, he writes
on a napkin his name, Javier ("Jay", as I knew it) and he handed me the
pen to do the same. Yeah, I did that. He looked at it and smiled. After
a while we were doing a lot of Meringue, Bachata, and a little bit of
Salsa. We left and didn't want the night to end so we went to 1 of those
24 hour breakfast spots. He wasn't that hungry, so he only had café. I had café and
a BLT. Our conversation was nice and light. He told me he was 30, from
Cuba and had been married for 4 years. He lived in Miami for a while and
came up to Jacksonville to work (truck driving) Even though there was
the language barrier I was breaking out my old Spanglish words and being
very patient with our conversations. I looked over at his phone and saw
that it was in Spanish mode....Po' Baby.
After we finished we
still wanted to spend more time together. Since we were nearby the
beach, that's where we went to. We walked for a little bit and then he
said "I want to dance with you". I'd never danced on the beach before
and it was so much fun. It was kind of romantic too...very fuego!
I think we were out there an hour, but after that we had to go. He
walked me to my car. We talked for a few minutes and he just gazed at me
saying "You're very beautiful", while pushing my hair out of my face.
The energy felt natural and we wind up kissing and seriously making out.
I don't remember for how long but after that, he said he want to see me
tomorrow (perhaps for cinema or maybe more, uhhh, besos) We said bye and parted ways...
For
whatever reason we didn't link up the next day. On occasion I would
have thoughts, wondering what sex would be like with a man who doesn't
speak a lot of English, especially a Latino man (wink). I wonder what do
they say during? I know that sounds weird but hell, don't judge me
because some of y'all were thinking the same thing too...Anyway, later
that week he called me and asked me to go out. It was Good Friday night,
before Easter. I was working late and I had a long day ahead of me so I
told him I could go but not stay too long. Although it was late, h said
he was getting his haircut and he had to go home to take a shower
after. No biggie because I had to do the same. I was waiting on him to
contact me back and I by the time I contacted him again it was already
after 11pm. When he answered the phone he said "Not tonight bebe, I'm very
tired and sleepy". WTF??? ¿Uve-Doble Te Efe?
Needless to say, I
gave this culo The Ax. Cut TF off! I ignored his texts and calls. I'm
sure I'll see him out at Latin Night and when I do, he will get brushed
off there too! And this is why, as the saying goes, "you don't eat where
you sh*t"....Yeah I know there might be a language barrier, however I
know when somebody is trying BS me. I don't do bullsh*t or toro mierda, due to my allergies to bullsh*t. Soooo Adios, Enemigo. Dueces en Español!!
Chocolate Thai; noun; A highly addictive strain of cannabis sativa, popular in the [past] 1960's and 70's, however today [present] regarded as "commercial", or not as potent...
Where do I began? This one was (is) so addictive!
I'm the beginning of Year 2 of my "Sexy-Single Phase" ( formerly "Dating Hell Phase")... Not speaking it into existence, however, if things continue in the same direction, I will be on Year 3... It's sort of a Double Edge Sword, although I don't like it, it gives you the reader more to, er, enjoy...;-)
It was Saint Patrick's Day and I was hanging out with a good friend. Although I'm not even close to being Irish, I love to partake in the "festivities". We went to a very eccentric part of town, for a street party. We had a nice time and left to go to a club.. Why oh why do I keep going to these "dayum" clubs? Maybe it's the hot guys, music and the drinks? Maybe it's because I like to dress my best and show off my assets? I don't know... Surprisingly I was very casual, simple hair and light makeup, a shirt-dress, fishnet hose and flat shoes. **Ladies I'm going to let you in on a little something-something that I've learned from other men, in case you don't already know: Most of the time we dress up for each other. 9 times out 10, heterosexual men don't give a crap about what we're dressed like, they want to know what it looks like, OFF of our bodies. They respond better to us when we're very casual. If you're casual they think you're the cool chick, the wifey chick actually, (unless he desires a "trophy wife" which means he prefers High Maintenance )...If you look High Maintenance, he's going to size you up and see if you can afford you. If you dress too sexy then you're deemed as the club chick or club slut...Hey, it is what it is....
We weren't there that long before I was approached by a tall, dark chocolate, and handsome young man...with a beautiful smile...And you know my Kryptonite is chocolate skin and a nice smile! He was very friendly. He made sure to introduce himself to me and my friend and he also introduced us to a friend of his. He was talking a little bit about his business too and he gave me his card...Reggie Thompson. Hmmm... I can't remember majority of our conversation due to his "fine-ness" and the potent drinks. Hey, it's "Irish" in me...lol
I can't remember who called who first, but I definitely put that business card to use. I was definitely thinking about was "giving him the business", but of course I wanted to get to know him first. We never "officially" went out on dates, however we did hang out a bit. Our chemistry was so great. As much as I wanted him, I would usually push away his advances because I actually liked him. You know how we have to do, ladies.. It's great for him to want you sexually but you don't want to look like a l'il hoe (that's in heaux in French)... ;-)
Reggie and I we were supposed to do a park picnic. He had a small fruit container with an assortment of strawberries, pineapples, cantaloupes, grapes and honeydew. There wa no, uh, "grape juice", no cheese, no crackers, but we did have bottled water. He'd never done a picnic before and didn't know what to bring. I acknowledged his effort. He was too cute! I brought my whole picnic cooler, packed with plates trays and cups, a blanket. We found a nice secluded spot by the water where we talked, nibbled on fruit, and kissed. Between eating from the same pieces of fruit, there was a whole lot of PDA going on. I know disgusting right? LOL We didn't want the day to end however, he had to leave to go do something with his church. And all I could think about was sinnin'...
I saw him a couple more times. Let me tell you, it was sooo hard trying to be "good" with this one. Once, there was almost a "Club Parking Lot Incident" and I ain't talking about a club fight either! We met up again at a party, on his birthday. It wasn't his but he was trying to celebrate early. We introduced me to his sister (and he also wanted me to meet his mom, eventually...I was like "whoa, horsey") We briefly hung out, then we went to a restaurant to celebrate more. We decided to go to the beach. I kept a blanket in my car just for the spontaneous beach/park moments... Not like that, I know what you're thinking...Tsk Tsk! And yes to answer your question, IT did go down that night!! *In my Rick James Voice* "Chocolate Thai is a helluva drug!!"
I enjoyed his company as much as I enjoyed him. Although I'm not into drug use, I think Chocolate Thai is the appropriate name for him because, I just couldn't (can't) seem to get enough and at times he does seem to have an "older soul" aura about himself. Our relationship was weird. We were not together like that but sometimes he acted clingy. One night, unexpectedly, he gave me "The French" (as in French kiss) in the club. Another night he went off when he saw me talking to another dude I knew at the club and accused me of having sex with the guy and I was not. At times he said he wants me to be his girl or his wife. We never officially talked about "kickin' it" (my term for "sex & friendship situation", "Friends with Benefits", maybe?) but I thought we had an "understanding" that we would just be cool, as is. I'm not sure if he just wants a "Girlfriend Experience" on occasion or what. We talked about all kinds of sh*t, but this is the one thing we missed thoroughly communicating in. He's going through this phase now of "Feeling Himself", meaning the attention he's getting from others, is now going to his head. I liked the guy, however I don't like his new arrogance. I'd like to see the same humble guy that I met in the club last year... Well you know what they say "Money & Fame doesn't change people only reveals who they really are..."
Oh well, one day I'll learn about trying to find my husband in the "dayum" Club! SMH! Pretty soon it'll be Saint Patrick's Day again. Maybe I'll find a local pub, where I'll run into a nice Irishman, or any man at this point because skin tone doesn't matter so much. I'm at a place n my life where I'm very open, and willing to receive who The Universe sends me...Welp, Chocolate Thai withdrawals are The Pits!!!...To be continued...
To blog or NOT to blog?
That is the question...I find I ask myself this, DAILY. Even though writing is very therapeutic and cathartic, I actually do it mainly for you, the reader. Whether or not I know that you're reading my blog doesn't matter, however the fact that you're reading is an awesome thing. It fuels me to write more. Today, I'm at post #11 and at times I feel like I'm blogging too much, too fast, but I digress! This, I do, for YOU! Enjoy!
Today I heard a blog radio talk show about relationships. The participants made quite a few valid points, such as making sure you're ready to "receive" a relationship, while not being fully dependent on the person for happiness. They touched on a topic that really resonated with me: "If you're a large percent "business" [minded] (over 50%, I think), then you should not be in a relationship". Wow! I really took this to heart because I know I'm a very business minded person, such that I think I drive people away. NOT drive away in the sense of I having many enemies, but I don't allow people to get too close to me. I'm friendly, but I still have a wall up. I'll let you see just enough to like me, but not enough to love me. I've been loved before more times than I've loved back. At times I feel my singleness is my punishment, for allowing single-sided love into my life...I love love and I also fear it. My defense mechanisms are strong. "Submission" is possible, yet hard to obtain from me...I believe that there is someone out there for me. I cannot give up. I refuse to "Wave the White Flag". I will not surrender, despite my plights and challenges...flaws and all!
Recently, I was talking with someone about working hard to achieve goals and being single, simultaneously. We both agreed that it causes an imbalance. We both long for someone to be there, at home for us, at the end of a long stressful day; That "someone special to talk to who will make us be a better version of ourselves and a shoulder to lean on". He even asked that I call him on a daily basis, and work towards being his girlfriend, no excuse me his wife...again! He says he loves me, although we never "officially" dated...(He likes to move fast, eh?!) I like him, but he's young and there are certain things that I don't like...which I'll get into that later. I think I'll just keep us "where we're at", for now. I don't want to complicate things... anymore...I still have a little bit more blogging & living to do...;-)
** One more thing, in the future, I will refrain from calling my experiences "Dating Hell"...
They are my "Men-oirs". I will govern myself accordingly! :-)
A friend of mine was on this "run" of going out all the time, because of personal reasons... I know that feeling very well! So we will decided to hang out on Saturday night. First, we went to a restaurant had drinks. Next, we went to this club, that I like to affectionately referred to as "The Dungeon", because it's in a basement & it seems like every other time I go in there, my clothes get dirty. My girl friend joked that I would probably meet my future husband that night & I was looking forward to it.
At the club we saw a lot of the "same old, same old" which is one of the reasons I really dislike going to clubs. It's something to do and a way to meet people. It didn't take long before someone "caught my eye", because I saw him looking at me numerous times. He was not my "type", but I thought he was very handsome, from a distance. His skin was caramel, he had a goatee, a very very low haircut, he was 6'1" and fit. Eventually he made his way over to me, and looked at me again. I said "Hey why, do you keep looking at me, do you like me or something?". He said "I think you're pretty". My response was "Are you shy, because you seem shy". I detected an accent, he told me his name was "Jay" and he was from Haiti... Interesting... From there we started chatting and we were pretty much inseparable the whole night. He was a "hot commodity", a lot of women were looking at him. A few approached, but none held his attention like I did. He brought me a drink and we hung out a little bit, with my friend. She's tall yet Jay's shorter friend (5'7) was trying to "talk" to her. I don't think he assessed her long legs while she was sitting down, or maybe he didn't care. The poor thing did not stand a chance....
We finally left and Jay walked us to my car. We left and when I finally made it home I text him to let him know. He called me about noon and we had a nice chat
Over the next few days there were calls & texts between us. Although at times, because of his accent, he was quite hard to understand. He seemed really nice, intelligent, hard working & sweet. He loved talking about his kids, (2 girls and a boy) AND especially his daughters. I was thinking damn, my friend is may be right I might have just met my husband... I take a size 7 and a half ring, by the way....;-) *Giggles*
Our conversations were nice. He seemed genuinely interested. He wanted to hang out soon and he suggested Friday night, we stay in and watch a movie on Redbox at his place. #PumpTheBreaks!!! (See overtime my listening skills have sharpened. I pay very close attention with what a man "leads with". I remember him saying that he would be off for 4 days straight, for Christmas starting Saturday. So since we're playing this game, no sir, I will pass on your "Friday night Redbox" and I will take Saturday night!!) I suggested since we're just getting to know each other, how about we go OUT on Saturday. He asked me what kind of food I liked. I said Italian. In my opinion, based on his suggestions, he must not don't do dates & courting that much. Now some may say I was being too picky, but I didn't want to just go to any run of the mill type of Italian restaurant, I wanted to go somewhere nicer not necessarily expensive but nicer than a "Chain, fast-food type Italian restaurant". We agreed to try new spot....
Saturday came and we met up at the restaurant. He was looking really good; just plain scrumptious! He had on a tan sweater, some blue jeans and tan boots. If I had some gravy and a biscuit I would've sopped his ass right on up! Dinner was nice. Good conversations were flowing and so was the Martini! The food was delicious, I just forgot to ask for a biscuit and gravy... to dip him in. We were having a nice time and we wanted to hang out more.We decided to go bowling. Although I really suck at it, I like to bowl, plus I haven't done it in awhile. It was his first time bowling and he did really well. From the outside looking in you'd think we were a couple, lots of affection; hugs, but no kisses yet...because I'm such a f*ckin' lady!
Neither one of us wanted the night Afterward he wanted to go hang at his place and go get a Redbox movie. (What is it with him and this damn Redbox obsession?...smh!) I was having such a good time. I agreed, AND I did alert (text) 3 of my friends where I would be going. I texted them his address and everything, just in case he (Jackson Pierre) was trying to murder a b*tch. You won't chop me up buddy and get away with it, no sir!
We went to his condo,& he let me know that he had 2 other roommates, but only 1 was there. To each his own but I'm not a big fan of dating a man with roommate(s), but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. He had told me he was divorced and his ex wife took everything, his BMW and the house, and he was starting over. Since I liked him, I wasn't going to be judgemental of his situation. We watched the infamous "Redbox movie" and had a great time laughing and talking. He seem to be very passionate about his children and also about his country. He wanted to return to Haiti, to help his people and he claimed that he was related to a politician or 2. He also talked about one of the biggest issues she has with meeting women, is the only seem to want to have sex, and nothing more so I guess that makes him guarded. He told me he shared a lot with me, and he normally doesn't do on a first date or with anyone for that matter.
For some odd reason, he decided to show me his debit card. The name on the card was totally different than the name he gave me. WTF? Let me get this straight, for over a week you have given me a name and we've had thought-filled conversations, then all of a sudden, I get your real name...NOW? I thought we had something going here but again that's what I get for thinking! He said that he uses a different name because of the situation with the women that only want sex. Now this leads me to believe that he probably is having sex with these women. How do you know that someone only wants sex if you're not having sex with them? Man, this fool has probably has been "poking" more chicks in real life than people do on Facebook! So I guess it's safe to assume that he goes to clubs meets women and bangs them, regularly. Nah, buddy I'm not gonna be 1 of them. I'm not going to be your "Dungeon Booty Call", have standards with my booty, thank you very much!
I don't know why but he called me the next day. I missed his calls, not on purpose. He sent me a text that said "You just not serious about anything". Okay, so yo' ol' lyin' ass gone tell me I'm the ONE that's not serious??? He called me one more time and didn't even mention me that nasty text. I immediately addressed it and told him that I don't like that sort of thing sent through a text (that's that....that's that sh*t I don't like!). If you got something important to say to me, say it to me on the phone or in person. Needless to say we didn't talk again....
I'm sure I will return to The Dungeon again... If ever see him again, hopefully in public, I'll call him by his real name, with a big smile on my face. I'm trading in my "biscuit and gravy" for a handful of salt... and I'm "throwing that salt right into his game", baby. Let's see how much "poking" he does then!
