To blog, or NOT to blog?

To blog or NOT to blog?

That is the question...I find I ask myself this, DAILY. Even though writing is very therapeutic and cathartic, I actually do it mainly for you, the reader. Whether or not I know that you're reading my blog doesn't matter, however the fact that you're reading is an awesome thing. It fuels me to write more. Today, I'm at post #11 and at times I feel like I'm blogging too much, too fast, but I digress! This, I do, for YOU! Enjoy!

Today I heard a blog radio talk show about relationships. The participants made quite a few valid points, such as making sure you're ready to "receive" a relationship, while not being fully dependent on the person for happiness. They touched on a topic that really resonated with me: "If you're a large percent "business" [minded] (over 50%, I think), then you should not be in a relationship". Wow! I really took this to heart because I know I'm a very business minded person, such that I think I drive people away. NOT drive away in the sense of I having many enemies, but I don't allow people to get too close to me. I'm friendly, but I still have a wall up. I'll let you see just enough to like me, but not enough to love me. I've been loved before more times than I've loved back. At times I feel my singleness is my punishment, for allowing single-sided love into my life...I love love and I also fear it. My defense mechanisms are strong. "Submission" is possible, yet hard to obtain from me...I believe that there is someone out there for me. I cannot give up. I refuse to "Wave the White Flag". I will not surrender, despite my plights and challenges...flaws and all!
Recently, I was talking with someone about working hard to achieve goals and being single, simultaneously. We both agreed that it causes an imbalance. We both long for someone to be there, at home for us, at the end of a long stressful day; That "someone special to talk to who will make us be a better version of ourselves and a shoulder to lean on". He even asked that I call him on a daily basis, and work towards being his girlfriend, no excuse me his wife...again!  He says he loves me, although we never "officially" dated...(He likes to move fast, eh?!) I like him, but he's young and there are certain things that I don't like...which I'll get into that later. I think I'll just keep us "where we're at", for now. I don't want to complicate things... anymore...I still have a little bit more blogging & living to do...;-)

** One more thing, in the future, I will refrain from calling my experiences "Dating Hell"...
They are my "Men-oirs". I will govern myself accordingly! :-)

Mr. Fiasco, without the Lupe

I was still in year 1 of my "2 Year Dating Hell Phase", when I decided to cut my hair, significantly shorter. I didn't do it to be all "deep and symbolic", I just wanted a change. Afterwards, it seemed as though I started to attract really tall men...Not just tall, but "NBA Tall". I've never been the type to be attracted to extremely tall men, but hey I'll try anything once, you know....

One night, I was at a local bar, alone, having a drink. An extremely tall, 6'7" to be exact, guy came over and sparked conversation with me. I guess you could say he was "Pecan Tan" (because CARAMEL has been so overused in my blog I think Google is going to start charging me for usage!). He had a low haircut and dark rimmed glasses. He was like a young tree, that I wouldn't mind climbing. He sort of looked like a slightly cuter version of Lupe Fiasco (Not my typical chocolate suave/debonair type, however I find him attractive). We exchanged numbers and he walked me to my car. He lived downtown, so he said he was walking home . Side note: He did have car keys, so I breathed a sigh of relief. I'm allergic to men in my city without cars.

We talked on the phone for a few days. The conversations were light, but good. I was surprised that for him to be so cute and innocent seeming, he was actually a probation officer, Brandon Jameson. He wanted to take me out, but the timing was bad. He was set to go home to New York, for over a week, to see his family for the holidays. 

During his long drive home, he called me a few times and we had a nice conversations. By the way, I am a sucker for a New York accent, by the way! Sometimes I'll just ask random sh*t, just to hear 'em talk. Although he was looking forward to seeing his family, he was really looking forward to seeing me when he got back. We chatted off and on until he made his way back Down South.
Fast forward, he's back in town and now comes the "Date Plan". He wanted us to have a sushi dinner. He had a habit of watching (stalking my Facebook pictures, and following my random Twitter thoughts) my social media profiles. One picture in particular, caught his eye. I decided to wear the outfit,  but switch it up a little bit, just for him. And put on some 5" platform heels, just to accentuate my legs, and get closer to him. ;-)

We arrived at the restaurant and he looked really nice. He had that debonair, NYC style dress code, "Photo Shoot Fresh" and damn, I wish I had a Nikon camera!  He looked fresh out of a Giorgio Armani window:  Pea Coat, Scarf, Nice Boots, Jeans. A well dressed man is a such turn on!
We chatted more and I was surprised how enlightened and intelligent he was. I hate to say it but normally, with younger man, I expect only a tight body, not a deep mind..Hey, an "old girl" like myself will take a peek...while I still have decent vision...Anyway, we finished up, then left.

He wanted to go to the club, downstairs. Normally I don't like clubs, but I went for him. He bought drinks and by the end of the night, I had 3 drinks total and he only had 2, dark liquor, plus the beer from the sushi restaurant. He seemed okay, at first...
He started to become more loose and very affectionate. He kissed me a couple times. His lips felt soft like cotton pillows. I love "the touch, the feel of cotton". It is indeed the "fabric of my life". He was dancing a lot too. I don't know why, but I have a funny feeling about really tall people dancing... I'm tempted to call 911 because it seems dangerous... I made an exception since we were having a ourselves good time...

We decided to leave and by then my 5 inch platform heels were getting the best of me. I asked him to "carry" me to the car. He picked me up, then he fell and dropped me! I was mad but I laughed it off...By now he appeared tipsy and he wanted to go out for breakfast....Hindsight is 20/20 now but...I decided to drive us to breakfast...We get there and order our food. I was looking at him and his whole "Northerner style", trying to stay focused. I quickly went into Focus Mode when I noticed he stopped talking back to me...I look over and this fool was asleep!! WTF??

I'm like "Brandon, Brandon, wake up, wake up" for a few minutes. I sat beside him, pinching him, and gently stabbing him with a fork. This fool was knocked out...AND snoring AND slobbering! WTF½ & a half!??? I asked the guy from the couple next to us to help. He couldn't get him to wake up either. I said if he doesn't get up please help me take him to the car. My phone was dead so I was trying to use his, so that I could call a friend of mine to come help. His phone was locked, and I was getting more irritated! I asked a waitress to bring some cold water. As soon as she brings over the cold water, he snaps out of it! Ohhhh, so now you want to snap out of it? Ol' selective a$$! 

We go to check out and he was being an a$$. He didn't even tip the girl. I felt bad because I had no cash on me and I wanted to tip her badly! I apologized profusely and we left. I drove him home and he asked me to come up! I am completely out of WTF's! Fool, don't nobody want your drunk a$$ d*ck!!!! Ugh! I said goodbye and left him. I arrived home and realized he left his glasses in my car which meant that I had to see this fool again!

I called the next day and kept the conversation very basic: "I have your glasses"...blah blah yadda yadda... I was nice enough to offer to swing by with his glasses  because I was going downtown that night. He was cool with that...

Later on I get a barrage of about 4 long drawn out "prepared" looking texts stating that he got a blood & urine test...Yes that's right on a Saturday! He said he barely remembered the night before and he knew he got way too drunk off of a few drinks so he decided to do a test to "see". He said that there was ketamine in his system. I'm not going to call him a liar, but who in the eff do you know gets drug tested on a Saturday?? After that convo I did not speak to him again. I'm slightly disgruntled because I wanted to do a "test study" experiment to see what the big deal was about having sex with a very tall man. Oh well...too bad the roots of that "tree" were faulty! I'm not worried, I'm sure there'll be another "tree" to come along, for me to climb. I may run into a "Sequoia" one day. And when I do, I shall climb that one, with 5 inch platforms on. ;-)

"Wine Mess", not Fest

Here we go again...I'm still on Year 1 of the infamous "2 Year Dating Hell" Phase. It seems to me that many of my interactions/dates have went on during the first year. I'd say the best thing about .my misfortune is that it fuels my writing so that I can share with others for their entertainment. Consider these stories the "Rainbow after the rain storm"....Enjoy!

Ahh, yes...back to where we left off... I must warn you, this story is not has humorous as the others, so bear with me. Since I started writing it, I have to finish it... I'm not a quitter!! :-)
I was attending a Wine Festival, for the second time with a good friend. We enjoyed the libations and chatted with quite a few people. There was an older vendor, Brad Cramden, whom we chatted with the longest. He said that he was headed out to meet some friends for dinner, and invited us to meet up afterwards. We exchanged numbers. My friend was ready to go home and I wasn't. We parted ways and I headed out to a nearby bar, by myself. Brad met me at the bar, after his quick dinner. We conversed for a little while and agreed to go elsewhere. He took care of the check, and we left. He definitely was not my type, physically, but he was entertaining and nice.

We went to a cigar bar lounge and had more wine. He wanted to hold my hand and kept saying  "See see how good our hands fit together". What??? Really? Somehow we got on the subject of children and he told me about his daughter, who happened to be just a few years younger than me. Yes, that's one hell of an age difference between us,  but for some reason I agree to go on a date with him the next day.
We met up at this restaurant at the beach. It had a nice laid back, tiki bar sort of vibe to it. I had no wine that day and I had very little appetite. The whole time I was thinking "What the hell am I doing? ; this man has a daughter that's close to my age!" He could see that I was sick, but I also started to feel very awkward. He said, "What's the matter, too much wine last night?" At this point even his voice was becoming irritating; He sounded a lot like a "cartoonish mobster". I shrugged it off and said "No I think it must have been something I ate". I just couldn't "get into it".  He was not as engaging and he seemed to be more concerned about the football game, constantly referring to plays and stats, like I gave a sh*t. He was from Chicago and a huge Bears fan. The date was on a Sunday and I think he secretly wanted to go to to that restaurant for the huge TVs and small crowd...to watch the "dayum" game!
After the game, we ended our night, quickly "Church Hugged", and went our separate ways. I text him to let him know I got home safely. We never spoke again. If I ever see him again, I'll casually speak, and hope he doesn't remember me. Oh well so much for being open minded and trying something different... I'm wondering if "date sampling" will ever be just as good "wine sampling". One can only hope...Here's to "New Adventures"... I'll drink to that!
Cheers & Salud!

NEW BLOG ADDRESS! http://therandallmay.wordpress.com

Hello everyone. I'm exploring WordPress. I'm hearing it's a better blogs site, so right now I will have 2 blogs. It  should be easier for you to it follow by simply using your email address without "signing up"..... NEW BLOG ADDRESS! http://therandallmay.wordpress.com

The Chameleon, "Jackson Pierre" (Or so I thought)

A friend of mine was on this "run" of going out all the time, because of personal reasons... I know that feeling very well! So we will decided to hang out on Saturday night. First, we went to a restaurant  had drinks. Next, we went to this club, that I like to affectionately referred to as "The Dungeon", because it's in a basement & it seems like every other time I go in there, my clothes get dirty. My girl friend joked that I would probably meet my future husband that night & I was looking forward to it.


At the club we saw a lot of the "same old, same old" which is one of the reasons I really dislike going to clubs. It's something to do and a way to meet people. It didn't take long before someone "caught my eye",  because I saw him looking at me numerous times. He was not my "type", but I thought he was very handsome, from a distance. His skin was caramel, he had a goatee, a very very low haircut, he was 6'1" and fit. Eventually he made his way over to me, and looked at me again. I said "Hey why, do you keep looking at me, do you like me or something?". He said "I think you're pretty". My response was "Are you shy, because you seem shy". I detected an accent, he told me his name was "Jay" and he was from Haiti... Interesting... From there we started chatting and we were pretty much inseparable the whole night. He was a "hot commodity", a lot of women were looking at him. A few approached, but none held his attention like I did. He brought me a drink and we hung out a little bit, with my friend. She's tall yet Jay's shorter friend (5'7) was trying to "talk" to her. I don't think he assessed her long legs while she was sitting down, or maybe he didn't care. The poor thing did not stand a chance....


We finally left and Jay walked us to my car. We left and when I finally made it home I text him to let him know. He called me about noon and we had a nice chat
Over the next few days there were calls & texts between us. Although at times, because of his accent, he was quite hard to understand. He seemed really nice, intelligent, hard working & sweet. He loved talking about his kids, (2 girls and a boy) AND especially his daughters. I was thinking damn, my friend is may be right I might have just met my husband... I take a size 7 and a half ring, by the way....;-) *Giggles*


Our conversations were nice. He seemed genuinely interested. He wanted to hang out soon and he suggested Friday night, we stay in and watch a movie on Redbox at his place. #PumpTheBreaks!!! (See overtime my listening skills have sharpened. I pay very close attention with what a man "leads with". I remember him saying that he would be off for 4 days straight, for Christmas starting Saturday. So since we're playing this game, no sir, I will pass on your "Friday night Redbox" and I will take Saturday night!!) I suggested since we're just getting to know each other, how about we go OUT on Saturday. He asked me what kind of food I liked. I said Italian. In my opinion, based on his suggestions, he must not don't do dates & courting  that much. Now some may say I was being too picky, but I didn't want to just go to any run of the mill type of Italian restaurant, I wanted to go somewhere nicer not necessarily expensive but nicer than a "Chain, fast-food type Italian restaurant". We agreed to try new spot....


Saturday came and we met up at the restaurant. He was looking really good; just plain scrumptious! He had on a tan sweater, some blue jeans and tan boots. If I had some gravy and a biscuit I would've sopped his ass right on up! Dinner was nice. Good conversations were flowing and so was the Martini! The food was delicious, I just forgot to ask for a biscuit and gravy... to dip him in. We were having a nice time and we wanted to hang out more.We decided to go bowling. Although I really suck at it, I like to bowl, plus I haven't done it in awhile. It was his first time bowling and he did really well. From the outside looking in you'd think we were a couple, lots of affection; hugs, but no kisses yet...because I'm such a f*ckin' lady!


Neither one of us wanted the night Afterward he wanted to go hang at his place and go get a Redbox movie. (What is it with him and this damn Redbox obsession?...smh!) I was having such a good time. I agreed, AND I did alert (text) 3 of my friends where I would be going. I texted them his address and everything, just in case he (Jackson Pierre) was trying to murder a b*tch. You won't chop me up buddy and get away with it, no sir!


We went to his condo,& he let me know that he had 2 other roommates, but only 1 was there. To each his own but I'm not a big fan of dating a man with roommate(s), but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. He had told me he was divorced and his ex wife took everything, his BMW and the house, and he was starting over. Since I liked him, I wasn't going to be judgemental of his situation. We watched the infamous "Redbox movie" and had a great time laughing and talking. He seem to be very passionate about his children and also about his country. He wanted to return to Haiti, to help his people and he claimed that he was related to a politician or 2. He also talked about one of the biggest issues she has with meeting women, is the only seem to want to have sex, and nothing more so I guess that makes him guarded. He told me he shared a lot with me, and he normally doesn't do on a first date or with anyone for that matter.


For some odd reason, he decided to show me his debit card. The name on the card was totally different than the name he gave me. WTF? Let me get this straight, for over a week you have given me a name and we've had thought-filled conversations, then all of a sudden, I get your real name...NOW? I thought we had something going here but again that's what I get for thinking! He said that he uses a different name because of the situation with the women that only want sex. Now this leads me to believe that he probably is having sex with these women. How do you know that someone only wants sex if you're not having sex with them? Man, this fool has probably has been "poking" more chicks in real life than people do on Facebook! So I guess it's safe to assume that he goes to clubs meets women and bangs them, regularly. Nah, buddy I'm not gonna be 1 of them. I'm not going to be your "Dungeon Booty Call", have standards with my booty, thank you very much!


I don't know why but he called me the next day. I missed his calls, not on purpose. He sent me a text that said "You just not serious about anything". Okay, so yo' ol' lyin' ass gone tell me I'm the ONE that's not serious??? He called me one more time and didn't even mention me that nasty text. I immediately addressed it and told him that I don't like that sort of thing sent through a text (that's that....that's that sh*t I don't like!). If you got something important to say to me, say it to me on the phone or in person. Needless to say we didn't talk again....


I'm sure I will return to The Dungeon again... If ever see him again, hopefully in public, I'll call him by his real name, with a big smile on my face. I'm trading in my "biscuit and gravy" for a handful of salt... and I'm "throwing that salt right into his game", baby. Let's see how much "poking" he does then!

New Website! www.TheRandallMay.com

Website up! I know it's a cheap one, but something is better that nothing. (PS New Blog coming soon!!)

www.therandallmay.com

The Gambler (No Ace, No Spade)

The first thing I noticed about him was THE smile...I am a sucker for a beautiful set of pearly whites (although I have an unnatural obsession with beautiful teeth and I've been told I have a nice smile myself too)...This beautiful smile just happened to be attached to a man who worked at a gym I was joining. I found him funny & flirtatious. He had a personality that some would see as overwhelming or "extra".  He wasn't my usual type; he was caramel complexion and a little plump ("thick" but "smallish"?), but you'll see here, sometimes I make "exceptions"...Anyway he set me up on a good membership plan  and eventually asked me for my phone number... so that we could hang out sometime. He was a "natural born salesman type" so you know the spiel.. I obliged...*Giggles*

We communicated back and forth, infrequently (mainly texting). He was not consistent about calling. I can't blame the age difference (I'm a few years older) because I've had guys that were younger call me more frequently. I don't sweat it when they're like that; I just treat them as such...
Time passed and I'd see him here and there at the gym. He would come over, talk and joke with me but he eased up significantly on texting or calling. Eventually, one day he said to me "When are we going to hang out?" My response: "The ball is in your court"...We agreed to hang out that Friday. We didn't have any exact plans because we would be hanging after he got off work at 11pm. Normally after 12 a.m. meetups are "BootyCall-esque", my word for something relating to Booty Call Activity, but not in this case. I could only see him this night/time because I had a 3 day work project coming up that week.

We were supposed to meet up in the gym parking lot; That was quickly changed, by him, to meeting up at IHOP, in the parking lot. (So are we Parking Lot Pimpin' now??) We met up at IHOP, I got in this car and then he went to the ATM. He told me he wanted to stop by a friend's house "real quick" to gamble, and hang out a little bit. What in the entire f*ck"???! I was like, okay, whatever, but in my mind I just couldn't believe what he just said...#TwilightZone

He stopped by his friend's house and called him about gambling. He wanted to "flip quarters" but his friend wanted to play Madden. Since they could not come to a gambling agreement, we left. We were supposed to be heading to the Pool Hall, but he had one more stop, the house of "a friend he hasn't seen in awhile"...Okay, now it's going on 1am. WTF² squared to the second power!!!!
We stopped at the friend's house, the lights ARE on, yet he called the friend, and he says he's not home. By then, I felt the need to be loud [ig'nant] in the background: "How is your friend NOT home and the lights are on?" Aaaargh! Calgon, take me away....

Finally we get to the Pool Hall. We walk in together and he walks off from me to say "What's up" to some guys he knew. After talking to them for a few minutes, He comes back and says that one of them is related to an NFL football player. I said "Oh really, I didn't know that because I was NOT introduced..." Now I am NOT an ugly chick, quite a few men would be proud to have me on their arms, so I don't understand why he felt the need to just "forget" that I was there...

Finally we got to shooting pool... As usual he continued to speak sexually related talk, (His conversation became very limited.) At one point, when it was his turn, he "conveniently" turned his cell phone towards me and on the screen was a video of him masturbating... I looked at it and was grossed out, he laughed. The WTF's are now WTF³ cubed to the third power!!!
Obviously, by then I was ready to go! Time was winding down and his friends came over and decided that they wanted to try to regain his beaten high score on the punching bag game. I said I was going to the bathroom and as I was walking I noticed that money was stacked up on a table. This fool was gambling on the punching bag game!!! WT-IDK??? I went to the bathroom, when I came out I walked towards the door to walk out, he came behind me and hit his remote to open the car door. Sooo basically he [car door unlock sound] "boop-booped" me!! At this point I am completely out of WTF's!! I have absolutely not a single eff to give!

Soooo, we're riding in almost complete silence with the music playing. We get back to the IHOP parking lot, I get out of the truck to walk to my car and he asked me, "So when are we gonna go out to eat?" Okay I must be slow here because this mf just asked me when are we going to go out to eat and we're in the parking lot of IHOP!!!! I said "I'm good". He said ,"Let me know you made it home safe"...I "Church-Hugged" him and left.

I get home, I text him "home". He responded, "So, I guess you wasn't feeling me tonight". I responded "I'm just used to something different, and no I'm not a lesbian" (earlier he jokingly accused me of being a lesbian because I wasn't so into his sexual advances/conversation).
Days later I get approached by him the gym. We have a mutual person in common, a client of mine, who is the wife of his boss at his other job. He was like "Why did you tell her what happened when we went out.l? You should've just said you didn't have a good time and left it at that"...Lol, he doesn't KNOW me very well because I say what I wanna say, even when it comes to clients. We have that kind of relationship. We be confidin' n' sh*t...Lol

Side Note: I'm not going into detail because this blog is already pretty long. Turns out this guy had a chick pregnant while he was pursuing me...He already has a child to (a boy, that was he told me about)...
I'm not much of a gambler, but I do know in gambling, you have to "Know when to hold'em and know when to fold'em". Needless to say, I folded that that ass! "Origami Style", baby!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj4nJ1YEAp4&feature=fvwrel

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Mr. No Admission (VBP Very Broke Person, not VIP)

So, I'm on Year 1 of being "Sexy & Single" and trying to embrace it; going on as many  dates as I can, and talking to different men. One of my good friends advised me that it's good to "talk to different guys", because it "makes you witty". Dating aside, I'm a pretty witty chick. I am quite verbose and very sarcastic; a sh*t talker, of sorts. Hell, if I got paid for my mouth, I probably wouldn't have to work as much! Speaking of talking, I talk a lot, in my business and I deal with people often. I am a confidante, a "Keeper of Secrets", if you will. I'm also a friend, and with that comes perks, and I love me some perks, baby! One of my clients, who was a bartender, always hooked me up at the lounge she worked at. I liked to frequent the lounge, "bar chat" a little bit and also mingle.

Most of the time, when I was approached, I didn't have mutual interest in the men there. My client always introduced me to people also. There was one guy in particular, a promoter is his twenties, "Cedrick" or "CK", that I thought was was "kinda cute". I say "kinda" because unlike most women, I'm usually not attracted to extremely tall men, however he had what I like to call that "10:30pm black" skin and a low fade. (By the way, I have a chronic addiction to dark skinned men; it is not life threatening, so please do not recommend a cure, thank you! ) Dark skin, low haircut; 2 out of 3 ain't bad...;-) Anyway "CK" seemed really interested in me and eager to take me out.  I told him we could go to this Art Walk event the following week. He said he wanted to see me sooner. It was a Saturday night and I already had Sunday night plans, by myself. I suggested we go together to this ahhh, er, ummm, Erotic Poetry event, and he agreed to go. I'm joking around for blogging purposes, but I seriously suggested this to him. Some people think that might be a little bit too much for a first date, but I don't. Going to an erotic themed event does not automatically mean that "erotic activities" are going to go down and I don't need to go to an erotic themed event to be motivated.

Well it looks like we had a plan. We were going to the Erotic Poetry event on Sunday and the Art Walk on Wednesday, and who knows where else after that... Sunday morning we chatted and he wanted to use his "promoter super powers" (yes I just coined that term lol) before we went out. He wanted to arrive early, so that he could network, and perhaps get us in for free (with his "promoter super powers", bwahahaha). I'm very business minded myself, however I could care less about whether or not he could get us in for free, and I wasn't trying to throw shade on his hustle, I just wanted to go to the event.

Fast forward to the event...I arrived well before he did. I waited on him an hour, while sitting with a couple I knew, chatting and being a nice little "Third Wheel". "CK" finally texted me and I went outside to meet up. He had a very puzzled look on his face and said he was looking for someone. Mind you, I had already paid my admission, no problem and I wasn't going to wait around for him to find this "mythical person". I told him that I would be sitting, on the couch by the stage... and he can come join me when he finds who he's looking for...30 more minutes passed by and I texted him "Hey where are you?". He replied "I'm home now, but I will see you at the Art Walk Wednesday". Say what?? Let me get this straight, you left me high and dry and you didn't tell me that you were gone AND I had to find out through a text? Ummmm, no the hell you will not be seeing me on Wednesday!!

By the way, I had a great time at the Erotic Poetry Event. I got "mad love" and compliments galore from both men and women that night because I had my (*Kanye Voice*) swagga on 100 Thousand Trillion (at the time the word "swag" was still cool to use, so don't judge me! lol). I was looking and feeling Grrrreat, so "CK" was not even on my radar anymore!

Needless to say, days later, he continued to call me and I refused to answer his calls nor respond to his texts. I returned to the lounge Saturday for a Comedy Show. He spoke and asked "What happened to you?" I was like "Oh nothing, I'm good" and I paid my own entry, AGAIN. This ol' magical promoter didn't even offer to "pay" my admission, to make up for that stunt he pulled.. I found out later that he and the promoter he rode with got into an argument, so they left together. That's right, this fool rode to the Poetry Event, in the work van, with another promoter...smdh. Oh, I thought WE were supposed to be on a DATE...That's what I get for thinking! My Bad!!! Ohhh and I almost forgot, another little tidbit, (he didn't go to the Poetry Event because..."Dun-Da-Da-Dun"... He did not have the money for admission and he could not find someone to let him in for FREE. Basically "CK" paying for his own entry/cover, anywhere, is Mr. SuperPromoter's Kryptonite. So instead of getting the VIP treatment I received the VBP (Very Broke Person) treatment! Oh well, I guess Fergie's Daddy said it best; "If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home". Ahhh, the perils of being a janky ass promoter...*False Sigh* ;-)

8 Hour Date/ "Reverse Booty Call"

Ahhh, yes! I knew that title would get your attention! Well let me take you back to where it all began....

Summer of 2011... I met a guy from one of those dating sites, "Raoul". He was not normally my type of guy, yet I found him interesting and his conversations refreshing. He was a chef, by trade, and had his own little business(es) on the side. By his admission he worked a lot... but somehow we managed to meet for a quick lunch date that went into 8 hours, and it was awesome! We were in one restaurant for 3 hours, talked in the parking lot for 1 hour, had drinks at another restaurant for 2 hours, went to a bookstore for an hour and back in the parking lot talking again an hour. Whew! *These times may not be accurate to the T, but when all was said and done we had spent 8 hours together, nonstop conversation! I liked the guy and I wanted to see more of him. The problem with "Raoul" is more than likely he was a Player (or maybe *Montell Jordan voice* a wannabe player). I don't see how two people who live in the same city don't spending that much time together. Tons of excuses about us being "too busy". Speak for yourself, Pat'nah! I may be busy, but I make time for those that I want to see, who WANT to see me as well. Needless to say I didn't see him again until one time in 2012. I went out to a local pub, and I checked in/posted online. He saw it, then met me out there. It was cool, but not the same as our first encounter.

Over time, he started to pursue me a little bit stronger. I guess "What had happened was..." nothing else panned out in his Player World and he came back to the "Sure Thing" (moi) or he must've had more free time when he went into business for himself, after leaving his chef jobs. I don't know...
Anyway, here's what "took the cake", for me.. He called me out of the blue and wanted to take me out. I guess I was being "short and curt" with him and told him "Let me look at my appointment book and get back to you with my availability". By now, my interest from 2011 waned. I was under the impression that he was going to surprise me; perhaps with a dinner prepared on the beach since he wanted me to dress really casual for our date. When that day came, he called me said "Bring your clothes for work tomorrow with you because you're staying with me". WTF?? Excuse me, WHAT in the ENTIRE eff?? I'm thinking "Dude, I have never even been to your house before and I'm supposed to go over there, bring clothes and spend the night". I kindly declined and offered him the opportunity to take me out again. He suggested some places that were far below the quality of places we went on our first date. I wasn't gonna be snooty about it, I was gonna go. Hey who knows, maybe he wanted to keep it casual...

Needless to say we didn't go because I had to work a lot later than I planned, so we moved it to the next day. On the next day I texted to see if we were still on and asked where will be going? He texted back he's not really feeling going out; he wants to stay in and play pool. I said okay will you be cooking? He was like "Nah", so my response was "Let's take a rain check". He said "Right" and never contacted me again. So, I said to myself...I get it, this dude tried to turn me into what I like to call a "Reverse Booty Call". A RBC is when someone really wants to make you into a Booty Call, but they try to pretend like it's something else, i.e. "dating interest"... With that being said this dude obviously did not want to date me and he just wanted to use me! My thing is, we are both adults, so if you want a Booty Call, or you'd like to make Booty Call Arrangements, don't be beating around the bush and sh*t, be polite and just ask! I will take your query into consideration. You want to know my response, in this case? Nah, Pat'nah, I'm good! I don't want YOUR booty anyway!! I got options! SMDH! ***OMG! Update! One month later, I get a message from Raoul, using a popular phone app...It says, casually, "What's going on?" I get the info on it. It was a GROUP message that went out to 63 other different women too!!! What an #@$$hole! I did I sent a polite message back: "Hi ladies, all 65 of you. :-)" What's going on NOW, pat'nah??.....lmaoooo

You gotta start somewhere...

Randall, "You gotta start SOMEWHERE", that's what I keep hearing. Let's start with today....

Soooo, I decided to take up a little hobby; Dancing. Although I love music, people that actually know me, know that I rarely dance, at least not in public... ;-) I decided to do so because I love seeing couples formal dance together and I would like to do the same....especially once I get a man! You'll notice I don't do things to "get" a man, but I kind of sort of like to include one in my activities; One of my many quirks...I'm a big "Corn Ball" and a hopeless romantic! I love love and implied love...which is something I really see with couples dancing.

Anyhoo, I started the Salsa class one day (fun but not much to talk about) and then I wound up doing the Argentine Tango and Cha-Cha on another day. I enjoyed seeing the variety of people, and analyzing them, based on their backgrounds and skill sets. Some can really dance their asses off, yet none of the others seem like me. I am like a butterfly, hold me too tight, I'll break; hold me too loosely, I'll fly away. And with dance I'm just about as self critical, and very controlling as I am with dating: Thinking too much about perfection, instead of just being "natural"; always moving ahead of the man, my partner and not allowing him to fully lead. Damn, dancing is a lot like life; some people are very easy going and they just glide & go with the flow; others are a lot harder to conform, especially when there's structure and rules involved.

Side Note: a male friend of mine told me that I am very "curt and short" with people. He said I'm "friendly" but I won't let someone completely get into my world...He joked that I would be the type to have sex, have an orgasm before the man and then say "It's okay, we can try again tomorrow, gotta go, bye!"...Lmaooooo, I do NOT think I am like that!

Day two we started off with a slow dance, the Argentine Tango. That dance requires a lot of waiting and feeling the movement of the man/lead. You know OBVIOUSLY I didn't do that well with that one (with my controlling ass lol). I kept wanting to jump ahead and not really be "led".  Although it took me dancing with the Tango instructor to get the solo pivot part, that seemed to be where I excelled better. I hope this is not a sign...*Deep Sigh*

Also, I noticed something when we constantly changed partners during the Cha Cha. I danced with some really good dancers, both men and women. Although some of the people I "met" for the first time, I could tell who was really confident, who was shy, who was controlling and also attractions. Confidence is very sexy to me, and I felt a lot more comfortable with the "confident only" men versus the "controlling confident" types. Some were shy, some fun, some wanted me to focus on the steps, and they didn't turn/spin me as much, some seemed as eager as a kid waiting to open their Christmas presents when they got to me. There were a few nice looking guys, one in particular, the Cha Cha instructor, who looks just like an ex of mine. Every time we danced, I tried everything in my power to not look at him in "that way". I'd look over at him and it seemed as though he was "looking back". (PS I'm already thinking ahead...Wouldn't it be cool if I dated a dance instructor? Hmmm...) He made a point to introduce himself after class and offered a chance for us to practice together 5 minutes before my next class with him. Maybe he's just being friendly/helpful, maybe he has "The Hots" for me....Either way, it doesn't matter. What do you think I'm gonna do?? I'm going to show up early to the next Cha Cha class, with a smile...AND, I already have my heels picked out...;-)